Neil Hilborn Perfectly Describes What It’s Like to Have OCD and Be In Love
Falling in love is enough to make anyone feel a little nuts, so when you throw obsessive compulsive disorder into the mix, you might think it would make things worse, but to slam poet Neil Hilborn, it was the one thing he felt completely content with being obsessed over.
In his heart-wrenching poem “OCD” Neil describes in pointed detail what its like to share a love with someone who has a severe case of OCD, and the tribulations both parties undergo as a result.
“The first time I saw her, everything in my head went quiet. All the ticks, all the constantly refreshing images disappeared,” says Neil about meeting his ex for the first time.
Neil’s poem was written back in 2011, and initially gained attention in 2013, but has since seen a viral resurgence due to the power and truth of its message, with the recording of his recitation reaching over 9 million views.
“Now I just think about who else is kissing her. I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once. He doesn’t care if it’s perfect.”
In his Reddit interview, Hilborn shares a few inside facts about the poem. “When writing the poem I wanted to make something that spoke to anyone who has felt love and heartbreak,” says Hilborn, “Not just those who have felt it AND have OCD.”
As for the relationship?
“The first time I ever performed it in front of a big audience, she was there. She did come back…and then left, and then came back, and then left again.” While we’re sad to hear that the relationship ended, it’s been a few years since Hilborn wrote the poem, and he’s been able to move forward.
“I wrote the poem in 2011, so a little over 2 years. And yes, I have! And the relationships didn’t even suck!”
Check out the full text of Hilborn’s “OCD” below.
“She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye 16 times, or 24 times if it was Wednesday.”